Kronos' ways to be annoyed
by daughterofposeidon19
Summary: How to annoy kronos


**I do not own all of this Lightatmidnight was the one who came up with it. I'm a huge fan of her, she rocks so much**

100 Ways to annoy Kronos:

1.) Tell him that not only has his hopes and dreams been crushed into a million pieces, so has he...

2.) Remind him about all his failed attempts to take over

3.) Announce that he must have been really really stupid to drink something that would make him throw up.

4.) Ask him why on earth he'd eat his children.

5.) Whenever he has meetings, remind him that he's only 21 years old (Luke).

6.) Ask him how a sixteen year old kid managed to beat him.

7.) Question him. If Luke stabbed himself, and he was in Luke, did he commit suicide? Is he emo?

8.) Sing Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift songs in his face.

9.) Skip around and tell him he's looking very young.

10.) Ask him how often he washes himself. Once a millenia?

11.) Say he has terrible fighting skills he got beaten to a pulp by his son.

12.) Tell him he cheated on all his wives.

13.) Ask him how he's doing down in Tarturus.

14.) Tell him you've met bread with more cunning plans than his.

15.) Tell him he should get a voice modifier...his current voice is like WAY 2too outta fashion.

16.) Explain that a yoga class would help him relax. He's way to tense. Evil is so last century.

17.) Say that he was waayyyy cooler in the myths than in real person.

18.) Ask him how old he was...and if he even knows how to use a computer or text.

19.) Manipulate the Mist to get human's to think that he's a celebrity, that way they follow him around all the time.

20.) Sing the annoying song that begins with "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..."

21.) Tell him that Prometheus must've gotten the traitorous feelings from his side of the family.

22.) Sign him up for a nice counseling session.

23.) Insist that he eats chocolate every morning, to help calm him down.

24.) Taunt that the Percy Jackson series was named after Percy, not him.  
25.) Ask if he weights more than his age

25.) Tell him he should try out Twitter. It's a great way to get followers.  
26.) Congratulate him that he actually got to be in the series

27.) Decorate his evil throne with flowers.

28.) Change the banner of Kronos to a bright pink flag with a cute bunny on it.

29.) Tell him that Rick Riordan will be destroying him into little pieces in the last book of the series.

30.) Knit him a pretty blue sweater and insist that he wears it to battle.

31.) When the Percy Jackson movie DVD comes out, make him go buy the DVD for you.

32.) Tell him that Luke, which is basically him, looks like a chipmunk in the movie, and that Percy is hot.

33.) Sign him up for day-care, and insist that he plays nice with the other evil three year old titan lords.

34.) Tell his followers that Kronos has announced that the army is to wear bright pink ballerina costumes into battle.

35.) Buy him Hannah Montana CD's for his birthday.

36.) Play those CD's loudly and sing Nobody's Perfect loudly.

37.) Write Percy Jackson Pwns on his throne.

38.) Dye his hair purple when he's asleep.

39.) Ask him if he's upset that his relatives hate him.

40.) Sign him up for Oprah, and make him speak about his feelings on national television.

41.) Call him Percy Jackson for the next ten days.

42.) Introduce him to "the game" and explain that _his_ powers r too weak to defeat it... Chuck Norris beat it ages ago.

43.) Say "that's what she said" and not tell him what it means.

44.) Sign him up for the big balemic convention.

45.) Ignore him while he's threatening ur life by turning on ur iPod.

46.) Set him and Clarisse up on a blind date.  
47.) While at the pool, splash him and his copy of "Evil Titans Quarterly"

48.) Yo mama jokes...

49.) While giving your report, say "like" in between each word

50.) Hide his TV remote and tell him that the ninjas stole it.

51.) Whack him and say it's a mosquito every couple minutes.

52.) Blame him for global warming.

53.) Take him shopping in the girls section and ask his opinion on everything

54.) Wet willies...

55.) Tell him Atlas has a crush on him.  
56.) End all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophesy THAT SAYS PERCY WILL KICK YOUR A**!"

57.) Get him kicked out of Walmart

58.) Address him as m'am instead of sir by accident.

59.) Address him as m'am instead of sir _not_ as if by accident

60.) Speak to him only in Pig's Latin

61.) Every time he talks, answer "No habla espan...-ish"

62.) Give him a super wedgie, then blame the remote-stealing ninjas.

63.) For a bedtime story, read him the part of Percy Jackson where he gets defeated and tell him where he went wrong.  
64.) Make him watch High School Musical 1, 2, and 3.

65.) Cry... _really loudly_... then slap him and run away... see what people assume...

66.) Make him sing on American Idol. Let Simon Cowell do the talking.

67.) Kiss him.

68.) "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Orange!"... ... ... "Who's there?" "Not you! You got pwnd by Percy!"

69.) Give him a manga and not tell him its written backwards.

70.) Record him singing "ninety-nine mortals, gotta kill them all! ninety-nine mortals to kiiiill!" and post it on YouTube

71.) Pretend you think he's a pokemon and throw pokeballs at his head until he gets a godly concussion.

72.) Read Harry Potter to him, and point out Voldemort and say, "See. There's a proper villain. You totally fail."

73.) Make him watch Dora... that'll get just about anyone.

74.) Make him read Twilight. After he's done, ask him whether he's Team Jacob or Edward.

75.) Ask him if living in Luke gave him an identity crisis

76.) At random moments, say "We hope you enjoyed your stay here at the Luke."

77.) Get a random person to walk up and bite him, then poke him with a pitchfork screaming "VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE!"

78.) Fill his goblet of "nectar of the gods" with gatorade

79.) Slip caffiene into his cup, then just sit back and watch

80.) Walk into the throne room with a taco, and say "jealous?"

81.) Ask him if he ever took Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades for Take Your Child To Work Day. the titan! Was a very grumpy guy! He was beat up twice by weak heroes and he can-not ever get revenge!..." to the tune of frosty the snowman.

82.) Say "Crooooo-noooos the titan! Was a very grumpy guy! He was beat up twice by weak heroes and he can-not ever get revenge!..." to the tune of frosty the snowman.

83.) Buy a bunch of parenting books and say "you need all the help you can get."

84.) When you have a drachma, taunt him with the fact that Zeus is on the drachma, not Kronos.

85.) Ask him "How does it feel to take a walk in someone else's shoes... and head, and legs, and arms...?"

86.) But him a rabid cat and watch it pee all over Tartarus. Tell him he must have had a really strong digestive system to be able to swallow his kids.

87.) Tell him he must have had a really strong digestive system to be able to swallow his kids.  
88.) Ask him if he spat up his kids because he didn't want to let nature take its course...

89.) Hug him.

90.) Get Percy to hug him.

91.) Take him to the movies saying you're going to see "The Matrix", then make him sit through a chick-flick starring Miley Cyrus.

92.) Address him only as "your ladyship" for at least a month.

93.) Be cheerful.

94.) Ask him if he immigrated _legally_ from Greece.

95.) Tell him he shouldn't kill people. It's a bad habit.

96.) Make him listen to Love Story over and over and over.

97.) Tell him you bet he's not smart enough to do your homework, and watch him do it for you.

98.) Teach him to play the violin. Then glue the violin to his chin.

99.) Make him listen to the Jonas Brothers 24/7 for a week.

100.) Sing "One Time," and "One Less Lonely Girl," to him.


End file.
